The Perfect Caribbean Woman

THE PERFECT CARIBBEAN WOMAN
By: Dr. Garfield Alexander

At uni­ver­sity I remem­ber wish­ing I was mad sci­en­tist like Dr. Franken­stein, so I could con­struct my very own woman, to my spec­i­fi­ca­tions and needs. Well, come to think of it, they weren’t really needs but fan­tasies. Now am a lit­tle older and wiser, and also a lit­tle more focused on needs, so instead of being a Dr. Franken­stein, I’ll be a chef and cook up the per­fect Caribbean Woman.

Ingre­di­ents For The Pot:

Her brain would be Kit­tit­ian, so that we have sim­i­lar upbring­ing, cul­ture and mem­o­ries. But most impor­tantly the Kit­tit­ian woman–aahhhh boy, get a good one and she will stim­u­late you, debate you, and advise you. Remem­ber the phys­i­cal and the sex­ual will fade with time.

Her hands would be Lucian or Domini­can, just so she could cook for me and mas­sage me. I don’t know if it’s the French in these ladies or the fact that these islands diver­si­fied from sugar cul­ti­va­tion early in their his­tory but these women cook the Caribbean way–and they know how to sat­isfy a whole man.

Her char­ac­ter would be Nevisian, or Vin­cent­ian or even Grena­dian. Am con­vinced that the nicest and calmest peo­ple I have ever met are from these 3 islands. I can’t say I have ever met any­one from these 3 islands that I don’t like.

Her car­ing would be from Jamaica. Lawd, I never see a woman take care of a man like a Jamaican woman! If she loves you she ignores your ego and fail­ures and just keep on giv­ing you the lov­ing. Don’t talk about car­ing for the fam­ily! Ignore the ste

reo­types placed on the Jamaican woman, they will take care of you for free once they love you.

Her looks would be from Cuba, from deep in the moun­tains of San­ti­ago de Cuba. But then I went to Santo Domingo, ohhh that Latin fla­vor mixed with the off-springs of Mother Africa… Then there is the Trinida­dian woman, that exotic mix of India, China and Africa cre­ates the look for me.

Her waist would be from Bar­ba­dos and her bot­tom too. There­fore, who­ever send­ing it for me from BIM will have to design it like Ali­son Hinds own and install a Bajan wuk-up in it for me

Her pride would be from Haiti. I need a pride was forged by rev­o­lu­tion and resis­tance, one that will never sur­ren­der. I need a pride from an Island where the Pres­i­dent must deliver his address in native “dialect” Kreyol as well as in French.

Her love for life and “lime” would be from Antigua. Antiguan women are fun lov­ing and care­free with the abil­ity to give you more than a good time. Even though we Kit­ti­tians call them “Gar­rots” (Gar­rets) from my expe­ri­ence, Kit­ti­tians and Antiguans have always made great couples.

I hope the women from the other islands that didn’t get included in the pot don’t feel insulted, because hey, if am cook­ing I can’t put in ingre­di­ents that I don’t know or have never had.

**The fea­ture art is the bril­liant work Martha by Bri­anna McCarthy, cer­tainly a per­fect Caribbean woman with all rights **

Dr. Garfield Alexan­der is a Daddy, Doc­tor, Poet, Cit­i­zen Jour­nal­ist and fel­low Cul­ture War­rior. His heart was forged in his Sweet Sugar City of St. Kitts, but his soul is that of a Caribbean man.